It’s been two weeks since I arrived at the hospital for my surgery. Two weeks since I’ve gone anywhere, two weeks since I’ve been outside except leaving the hospital. Two weeks of Internet, and movies. And catching up on Hulu (at least until ifixandrepair turned my laptop orange). Two weeks of catching up on my DVR. Two weeks of Facebook, and Instagram. Two weeks of napping in the middle of the day, of being fucking tired all the time. Two weeks of being trapped.
But, I’m more trapped than just the lack of fresh air. Even when I can go out…and frankly maybe I could go out now, but I can’t drive, I can’t septa, and I get so fucking tired right away I’m afraid of over-exertion. Even circling a mall I’m afraid I’d really just end up sitting on a bench. And malls don’t really help with the fresh air thing. But, I’m trapped anyway. Trapped in a dead-end part-time job. Trapped in a world of stupid, trapped in cages of my own making. Trapped with way too much time to think.
And I ❤ my iPhone, but I’m bored with Simpsons:tapped out. And I have other games- good ones! Bejeweled and sonic and monopoly and Oregon trail. No Mario tho, fucking travesty at that. And I have a shiny new camera, but nothing worth taking pictures of. And it’ll all be over soon enough. I’ll go out, take pictures, breathe fresh air.
But in the meantime, the prison powder builds. And if it was nice maybe id go for a walk. But not in this 20 degree weather where it hurts to shiver. I’m not putting on layers just to circle the block.
So, I’ll sit here, and watch a movie. Stare at my phone, worry over my laptop.