If my life were a movie, I wouldn’t want it to be an indie movie. Because then I might not get a happy ending. Best case is probably quasi-happy, where I end it playing a guitar, or like in Waitress *SPOILER ALERT* where I get some money, a restaurant, and an adorable kid, but no Nathan Fillion. In the story of my life- I want to end up with Nathan Fillion. Like, can we make that happen no matter what movie I’m in?? I mean, come on, hes hot, and funny, and “aims to misbehave“. Get on that- universe.
Speaking of, I also don’t want to end up in a Joss Whedon movie. Yes, my dialogue will be really snappy, but either I or someone I love will probably die in a way THAT DOESN’T EVEN FURTHER THE PLOT JUST BECAUSE JOSS IS BEING A DICK. *cough* Wash *cough*. I’m not spoiler warning that, because anyone who gets the reference has already seen the movie. Seriously- after the landing? Mid-celebratory sentence?? Ass!
Also, not acceptable genres for me to be in- zombie movies (I’m a really bad shot), horror movies (even tho I mock the shockingly poor decisions of the ditzs in a horror movie, I don’t handle a crisis well, and would probably make similarly bad decisions). Tho I would certainly never decide to split up, unless I can split off just the people I don’t like.
I like apocalyptic stuff, but if I actually lived in the terminator universe I’d kill myself- so that wont work.
Maybe I could be in some happy romantic comedy. Like, I go through adorable mishaps, and then Colin Firth kisses me in the snow? Cut to black, happily ever after, entirely disregard the awful sequel? But, I can’t be in Sex in the City, because as I’ve previously mentioned– Carrie Bradshaw is a whiny narcissist who I’d be tempted to beat upon the head with her impossibly expensive shoes every time she opened her mouth. But, maybe I could steal Aiden from her?? That could work, I could even deal with him feeding squirrels.
A musical could be fun- but I can’t sing or dance. It would be kinda funny if people randomly broke out into song though.
Maybe an old movie, tho I’m not sure I could pull off those awesome hair and clothes that everyone back then looks gorgeous in. Plus, I’m black, so I’d probably be a maid. Or a tragic mulatto.
I could be in a snarky comedy. Except the snarky kids who I always wanted to fit in with never liked me that much. My snark has gotten better tho.
I relate everything in my life to movies and TV. Hell, I even made a mental tvtropes page for my life. Is that normal?? Maybe there WERE consequences for my excessive childhood tv watching??
Speaking of- nickelodeon is going to start showing early 90’s shows late at night!! I could totally live in Clarissa Explains It All…