I’ve been in a mood all week. To say bad would be too simple. Kinda cranky, kinda uneasy. By the end of the day I feel utterly antisocial half the time. I can’t pick a song to listen to because it all seems too…familiar, or I’m not in the mood. Because I’m not sure what mood I’m in. And I jog in place, moving nowhere.
And the peace a pizza in liberty place closed. Fuck that- no more ziti pizza?? And I loved their cookies. Unacceptable. Not that I have a say. And if I did I’d fucking bungle it. And I’m impatient this week, but too lame to do anything. And I skip songs I love on my zune for no obvious reason. And I wonder if a windows 7 phone would flag zune as a misspelling like my iPhone does.
And, it sucks the phillies being so popular. Hard to get tickets. Not sure how many games, if any I’ll make it to this year.
And it was a beautiful day today. I like the sun. And, I’m not depressed, exactly, but to call me happy would be a lie. I’m worried, I had a bad day. And I could’ve done more to rectify it- but I didn’t. Course not. This is me I’m talking about.
I’m not sure if I’m more or less depressed than I sound. I feel anergic. And simultaneously entirely out of control. Even tho I know the controls are in my hands but I fumble. And almost universally make every single thing worse.
And I have no energy. I cam barely be bothered to breathe, tho I sure don’t want to stop. And I sometimes feel like I’m suffocating. But, there’s plenty of oxygen. It must just be me. Deep breaths don’t seem to work. And I REALLY need them to.