Wow- you really thought this blog was going to be about sex didn’t you? Yeah, no, I’m not blogging about my sex life, especially since even the most exciting sexual encounter in my hands would descend into total ikea erotica.
No, this is about a song. I heard a song tonight with the chorus “I just had sex and it felt so good”. Really, if this is a song worthy of being played in a bar, I should write a book with a really obvious title i.e. “My stuff got repossessed and i felt so poor” or “it’s below freezing and it felt so cold” or “I got bit by a shark and I bled so much”.
This is what passes as a decent song today? Beyond the stating the obvious nature of it- whatever happened to using a clever freaking euphemism?? It’s like that song about loving the cocaine, or that get low song talking about the sweat dripping down his balls. I mean, go take a shower- don’t write a song about it!! This also applies to anything by Lil Kim. just, be clever. Take five seconds to be original. And never ever talk about your ball sweat. Really- were you raised in a barn?? I don’t even want to hear a clever euphemism for how going to the strip club makes your balls sweat. Just…no. This is not an acceptable song idea! And why are you people listening to it??
I quit life- or at least music.