Dear soul sucking movie studios,
Tonight I went to Blockbuster for the first time in almost a year and rented Scott Pilgrim with my friend. It was a funny, quirky, overall enjoyable movie- but that is not what I’m writing about. Maybe it would be, if you guys weren’t such soul sucking assholes. After the movie, we did the customary, check for special features thing, since the menu implied they were there.
THEY WEREN’T!! Instead I got a stupid, greedy, message, all about how special features are only available for people who BUY the movie. Nothing in the history of time has made me want to buy a movie less than seeing that irritating fucking message.
I don’t buy movies that often, but if I do it’s because they are movies that I really like watching. Or because the special features on the DVD are so well done, or whatever. Not allowing me to watch said special features is not going to make me clamor to buy the DVD if I wasn’t going to anyway. Ass. If I liked the movie enough to buy it, I would, if I didn’t, I won’t. I’m not going to buy it because I’m just that fucking desperate to see the deleted fucking scenes, most of which usually suck anyway. Seriously 9 times out of 10 the alternate ending for a movie was dreadful, if Clerks had been released with that original ending- Kevin Smith would be still working at the damn Quick Stop.
In closing, you have given me no reason to rent your movies, and have actually discouraged me from buying them, purely out of spite. I spit on your graves, and will have to learn to be happy with cable, because fuck you movie companies, you don’t deserve my money!
Long live copyright infringement!!!
Your not so loyal, royally pissed customer,