The myth of the nice guys

Being nice does not entitle you to a date with me. Throwing me a
compliment does not mean I have to want you. You asking doesn’t
obligate me to say yes.

I’m not one of those girls who like assholes. Kinda cynical
smartasses? Sure, but that’s because I am a kinda cynical smartass- I
prefer that in friendships too. Kindred spirits and all that. And
sometimes I make snap decisions on who not to date. You texted and
refused to call, you came onto strong, I’m not attracted, blah blah
blah.

Mostly, this is to weed out people I know I won’t be comfortable with,
because, and here’s a secret- I’m an introvert who isn’t comfortable
with most people.

So, if I don’t really find someone attractive, and there are certain
traits that aren’t bad, but are just…not compatible with me- I often
won’t waste the time, and effort, and primping of a date. In addition,
guys who don’t handle no well are even harder to get rid of once you
date them. I’ve dated people I wasn’t into, I’m not doing that again.

And back to nice guys. So, this “nice guy” asks me out when he turns
up single. And I don’t give him a flat no at first- but eventually I
do. So he calls me weird. Very nice and mature of him right? And he
says I’m too picky. And..and this is the one that killed me- selfish.
Because he is so fucking great and I don’t know what I’m missing, and
he said I was pretty and he “seemed”nice, so I have some moral, godly
obligation to go out with him.

Guess what? Every guy isn’t worth the time of getting to know. And
calling someone weird…isn’t very nice. And a lot of “nice guys”
aren’t very nice.

Guess what dudes- you also have to be considerate. Interesting.
Compatible. Attractive enough. You can’t just be nice- and then bitch
that the girl won’t go out with you. The problem isn’t that you need
to be an asshole- the problem is that you aren’t really nice. You wear
your niceness like a fucking crucifix, like that entities you to
something. Well…it doesn’t! Because even if you were nice- that’s
not the way it fucking works. And because being passive aggressive to
get what you want isn’t nice. Insulting a girl for not being
interested isn’t nice- it’s actually pretty shitty. And hiding behind
your niceness just makes it fucking worse.

How bout find something else about you other than “nice” to hang your
hat on. Because, if your going around talking about how you “deserve”
things because you are nice- here’s a redflag for you- you probably
fucking aren’t.

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About boredgirl260

27 year old trying to figure things out as she goes.
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