I have a great shame. Ok…I have MANY great shames, which I will
never post here. But I have one specifically that I speak of here. It
dates back to 10th grade, when I was at the height of my snarky.
It’s me with the sane cynical attitude, but add puberty and
unpopularity, and subtract booze and….other endorphin producing
activities that I definitely wasn’t doing in high school. I was a
miserable bitch, is what I’m trying to say.
Then, as now, I often took it out via writing, meaning my English
teachers totally got the brunt of it. There was the really bad poetry
that I’ve since burned, and the passive aggressive way I occasionally
dealt with school assignments. And no, I’m not talking about just not
finishing them, tho I never did find out how the odyssey ends, and I
will hate Romeo and Juliet until I die (tho the fake Romeo and Juliet
play in Hot Fuzz was maybe the best thing ever).
Anyway, I’m rambling away from my point. My great shame. I can’t
rightly remember what the assignment was, but the paper I wrote in
response was about a Philadelphia tradition that I, at the time, hated.
The tradition? No not parking in the middle of broad street, tho I do
hate that. And certainly not booing, I think that’s part of our charm.
It’s a tradition that I’m now rather fond of, and Kevin Bacon is
clearly also a fan of. Yup, it’s that tradition that combines feathers
and booze like only Philly could- the motherfucking mummers. Why did I
hate the mummers? I honestly don’t remember. Maybe they just seemed
too cheerful for my dark dark world. I didn’t like parades, or clowns,
or being outside in winter. Or dancing. Whatever it was, I wrote this
essay in 10th grade.
And, I totally like the Mummers now, and they seem like decent folk,
and it’s an important Philly tradition. So now, eleven years later
(wait-really, 11 years later?!?! Ok, I’ll deal with how old I am
later, cannot handle that right now). Anyway, all these years later, I
realize the error of my mummer hating ways. I was wrong. Who isn’t a
little wrong when they are 15? Which makes it more like 12
years….fuck. Anyway, I doubt you all would want to stand by every
opinion you had when you were a teenager.
And hell, I was totally right when I said John Street sucked…..