to see past the bullshit

I am flawed. I am insecure, I at times over-share, I can be aloof and standoffish in large groups, I’m pessimistic. My father left, my mother is crazy, and I don’t have nearly as much faith in myself as I should. If knowing that, makes you want to turn tail and run- go for it. Seriously. Because, if seeing that makes you turn tail, you will miss out.

You won’t find out that I can be funny, and witty, and smart. That I’m crazy into sports. That I’m loyal, that I’m a good listener. That on the rare occasions when I choose to wear one- I totally rock a skirt. That I will give you advice, but still back you up even if you don’t take it. And that will be your fucking loss. Because yeah, some days I wake up hating myself. But, who doesn’t? And if you can’t understand that, if you can’t understand why the only way I can sometimes get my brain to stop spinning is to put fingers to keyboard and just go….then…we don’t have anything to talk about. We won’t get each other. Why waste each others time?

And, I know I’m a flawed person, and I need to work on that, but so is everyone. And isn’t the whole point of love to look at someone, and really see them? To see past the bullshit and to who they really are, without running away screaming? I mean, if we can’t do that, then what’s the point of any of it?? Why bother? Because in the end, it’s not about money, or what the polished version of yourself looks like, it’s about whether or not you can deal with the fucked up stuff. It’s seeing someone’s flaws, and loving them anyway. And, if someone truly can’t see past my flaws, then I’m clearly not the girl for them. And..isn’t it better to find that out sooner than later??

Besides, no one is being forced to read any of this anyway.

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About boredgirl260

27 year old trying to figure things out as she goes.
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2 Responses to to see past the bullshit

  1. packardsonic says:

    You suggest you be more positive about yourself. If you tell someone that your crazy or whatever, that is what they will. From the discussions with you I know your not as bad as you make yourself out to be, but the people we are generally hardest in is ourselves. Some of the people that are around you family for example you can’t do a lot about, but you will get through it.

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