confessions of an introvert

I’m horribly introverted sometimes. Like, sometimes being around
people just drains me. Especially people I don’t know, or am not
comfortable with. Because the necessary getting to know you small talk
people do so frequently makes me tired and irritable and nervous, I
end up just withdrawing into myself.

Which makes it really hard to meet people. It’s just, I have a bad
habit of only liking people I already know. Sometimes I just can’t
give a shit about anyone else. And what’s worse almost, since this
isn’t always the case, when I am in a getting to know you mood, it
just comes across as weird or random.

Even as I sit here, life exhausts me. And tho sometimes I do love to
just veg in front of the tv or a video game, it’s not that i want to
spend all my time alone. Life just exhausts me, especially having to
pretend to care. Not that I don’t care at all. I care about my
friends, my family, the world. But, unless I’m in a very specific
mood, I just can’t care about anyone else.  And even that is an
exaggeration.

Just sometimes, the mere act of hello takes more energy than I can
muster. Sometimes, it’s just easier to avert my eyes than to figure
out which parts of myself to show to make someone like me. The whole
process of being human just exhausts me sometimes.

I’m drained in a crowd sometimes, and even one on one. But I’m not
really happy alone either. Well, sometimes I am. Today I would be.
Just crawl into myself and tell everyone to get lost.

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About boredgirl260

27 year old trying to figure things out as she goes.
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