I’m having one of those weeks. Those weeks where I’m randomly emotional, where I’m panicked about where I am in my life, about how old I’m going to be, slow march towards death, all that good shit. Where I get upset about gifts that boyfriends didn’t get me years ago. Just rampant stupidity, I am a force to be reckoned with right now.
And my laptop needs work. This broken keyboard thing is a pain in the ass, and I really need new memory, and I’m unsure as to how to go about any of it.
And, it’s just one of those weeks. Where I feel overwhelmed, and terrified, and convinced that the world is closing in on me.
And maybe I should go back to school. But, I need to get on top of that. And I’m not. Because…I’m easily overwhelmed, or I’m afraid of failure, or..I dunno. Maybe I’m just lazy. Maybe a lot of things.
And this will have passed by tomorrow. But right now, the Phillies are losing, and I sit in bed, and type this up on my busted keyboard…and I try to figure out how it’s almost summer again already. It seemed that the snow and winter would never end, but then again it seems like it was just fall. Like I was just picking pumpkins. And now it’s May. Where the hell did the time go?
It’s like my whole life is going like that. And it scares me. Because I’ll wake up one day, and I’ll be old. And I’ll wonder where the time went, and I’ll wonder where my life went. And I close my eyes, and it scares me. It really truly does.