I have a hard time answering lots of different questions – “what do you want to do with your life” being the most obvious, but perhaps topping the list of difficult questions is “what do you want for…”. For most people this is not a difficult question. Most people are happy to list off what they want. But for me, for me it’s damn near impossible.
For someone as self-involved as me, you wouldn’t think I’d have a difficult time figuring out what I want. And, I guess the problem isn’t just knowing what I want, it’s more an idea of knowing what I’m worth. I don’t feel comfortable asking for things. I don’t want to ask for something expensive, I don’t feel right people wasting their money on me.
And, it’s a weird contradiction, because I like presents. I really do. But, it’s like, I feel bad asking. And, I can never think of things I want, because if it’s something cheap that I’d think of, I would get it myself. And…maybe I don’t think I’m worth something other than cheap. I don’t know.
Maybe I should dig deeper here, but I don’t want to. So, the question will remain unanswered- what do I want for Christmas??