On the last Sunday of June, me and a friend decided to go to Dorney Park. We were prepared for a day of water slides and roller coasters, we were not prepared for what happened.
Our way up there we stopped at the Allentown rest stop. And it sucked. Way overpriced food, seven dollars for a slice of dried out pizza (that I didn’t get), and Starbucks, which is usually expensive anyway, was even worse than usual. I just got a cookie.
We got to the park around noon, and we decided to hit the water park first. We hit some water slides and the not-so-lazy river, and then I proceeded to nearly drown in 3.5 feet of water at the bottom of a body slide (I really need to learn to swim). We hit both wave pools where the waves were somewhat lackluster, and then decided it was time to get lunch and check out the regular park.
We got our belongings out of the cheaper one-use locker, got dressed, and got some food, which in my case was highly overpriced (13.50 for some lackluster popcorn chicken, fries, and a soda). After lunch we went on….I can’t remember the name- Viper maybe?? The green roller coaster. Anyway, I had never been on an upside-down, feet hanging roller coaster before(I blame a scary story of someone falling out of a roller coaster at six flags from when I was a child), so I was thoroughly terrified. Still, I went for it, and I must admit- it was fucking awesome. Cannot wait to do another one of those again. Of course, I didn’t even get to do all the ones there…but that comes later in our story.
We got on Whitewater Landing, and the roller coaster that goes straight up and down (scary, but not very fun IMO), got on Thunderhawk (yay old wooden roller coasters!), and made a plan to get on Steel Force later.
Now we’re coming on the bad part. We decided to get on the rapid ride. It was fun, and the most adorable little girl was on the ride with us. Then, since we were already wet, we decided to get on Whitewater Landing again. And, and this is a fateful decision, we put our bags down in one of the cubby holes outside the ride. We spent maybe five minutes on the ride (there was no line at all, the whole park there were no lines, very odd), and when we came back all our stuff was gone. We looked everywhere…but gone. So, we found a park employee, who called security, who mostly acted disinterested. They took us back over there and looked, but at no point did calling lost and found occur to any of them.
And there are parts of this story I’m not going to tell in detail here, but suffice it to say that maybe they didn’t like the fact that my friend talks loud and was maybe drawing attention to the fact there was a theft, and so the theft took a backseat as they walked us back to a room and DETAINED us. All our stuff was gone, my friend only had on a bikini top, and we were cold, and wet, and I couldn’t see a thing because my glasses were in the bag. And we couldn’t make a phone call, and they were just assholes, and at no point did anyone call lost and found.
Hours later when the ordeal finally ended, I called our ridiculously awesome friend to come up there to pick us up. And the rest of the night was an ordeal as we went through a series of stressors and misadventures to try to find a key to my friend’s car. And it turns out our bags (with the valuables missing of course), had been dumped off in a men’s room bathroom right away, and were sitting in lost and found the whole time. Fucked up, it was, and it sucked, because it started out like such a beautiful day.