Life is way too short to live it the way I do

One day you’re alive and fine. And then you fall and hit your head during a ski lesson. And you feel fine at first. Within the week you’ll be dead. WTF??

And there’s a terrible personal tragedy here for Natasha Richardson and her family, obviously. But it’s fucking with my head beyond that. Do you have any idea how often I hit my head. I am a klutzy menace, I’m walking into things, and hitting my head on my desk, and slipping and falling. And one of those times could’ve been the time that I feel woozy an hour later, and then I’m dead. And there’s nothing anyone can do. And I doubt when she had that fall, she thought she’d go into a coma and never see her kids again. And it makes you realize how random and how short life is. And it makes me realize that life is way too short to live it the way I do.

It makes me realize that I’m just wasting time here. Too afraid to do anything, to go anywhere. To make someone angry, that something bad will happen, that people won’t like me. Just a constant unceasing terror, like quicksand keeping me cemented in one place. Too afraid of being rejected, of saying the wrong thing, of failing. Too afraid of being hurt, but I always get hurt anyway.

And this whole speech would lead you to believe that ive seen the error of my ways. That I don’t want to hit my head and have this be all I see. But, honestly, who am I kidding? I won’t change, I never fucking do. I’m too scared, too afraid. And one day ill hit my head or something, and I’ll realize I’ve wasted my life. I know this, I can see that is how this story ends. But still I’ll change nothing.

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About boredgirl260

27 year old trying to figure things out as she goes.
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2 Responses to Life is way too short to live it the way I do

  1. We gather from observation a’ tha world around us that many likely feel this way also, but we appreciate that yer brave enuff 2 admit it in (electronic) print.

    Much Respect Due…

    = )
    –TBW

  2. packardsonic says:

    I can understand where you are coming from, but being a klutz doesn’t mean you will die the next time you hit your head. Have to remember that she was skiing when she had this happen. Many years ago I worked at a Ski resort and did some skiing myself. You can get going pretty fast and if you are not careful you can get hurt or worse. With that said, anything around the house can have a major impact like that as well, but it is less likely. While some people see something like this and are able to change everything about their lives, you should know that people see a celebrity die by something they did, have to remember, the only reason they got press is for the fact that they were famous. If this had and does happen to the average Joe or Jane out there, it wont get the same amount of coverage theirs did and will most likely be so sensationalized that they are trying to invoke sympathy for the famous person. Not saying that they deserve less, but they certainly don’t deserve more. Life will go on because no matter how famous someone is or was, the simple fact is that we all die at some point and dwelling on it is counter productive. Your best bet. Don’t give it any more thought than it deserves or will just eat you up thinking about it. Remember changes come in small doses, and you can change too, when your ready to. 🙂

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