I can be one of the most sedentary people alive. I haven’t really been anywhere, and whether paralyzed by fear or poverty, my life doesn’t change nearly as much as it should. That said, as I sat in a movie theater this morning watching Four Christmases (it was a good movie BTW), I got an overwhelming desire to travel the country and see stuff. Like, the movie was set in San Francisco, and I think it’d be cool to see the Golden Gate Bridge. To see how different things are, even though I know I’d always want to come back safely to Philly.
And though I don’t really gamble, Vegas would be cool. Or to see a game at Wrigley Field, or Fenway Park, even though Red Sox fans are completely unbearable. To see the Grand Canyon, or Mount Rushmore, or just to see what other places look like.
I’ve never been off the east coast really, and I’ve only traveled a really small portion at that. The entirety of my twenty-five years can be placed in a small box on the map, from State College to the Jersey Shore, from New York to Washington, DC. And, due to my tendency towards inertia, I fear it’ll always stay that way. Because I’m too chickenshit to travel alone, the fear of ending up raped in a ditch having been firmly implanted in my brain since I was an infant. And, what with my chronic singlehood, what if I never have anyone to travel with?
Or, on the offhand chance I do find someone I can tolerate, and who can tolerate me, what if they don’t want to go anywhere? Or we have jobs, or kids, and let’s not forget the grinding poverty. And, since I just plain suck at showing initiative, I can easily see my dreams slipping away, as I get comfortable, or lazy, and instead of getting up and doing something, I resign myself to just hanging out in Philly, or playing with the Wii I am sure we will get.
And, I know I’m still young, but I can still see my life slipping away. And one day I won’t be so young, and the time I thought I had to do stuff I frittered away. And, I’m alone, and poor, or childless, and I still have never really been anywhere. And, as much as I want to see a happier future for myself, when I look ahead, that is the future I most often see. Which sucks, because I really would like to go to a game at Wrigley Field, or get a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge.